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Challenge Accepted - Alternate Ending

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

I was going to edit and fix the Lisa vs. Victoria story, but I read this scene and a really daft idea entered my head and wouldn't go away. It's a stupid, crack crossover ...fanfic? that uses a big name and my own stupid writings, but sweet monkey Jesus it makes me giggle like I've been hit with Joker gas...
Oh, uh, you'll probably need to know the Ace Attorney series reasonably well to get it, and a little Layton (I've only played the crossover game when it comes to Layton myself) wouldn't hurt.

This is just copy and pasted from the 'challenge accepted' skim it if you want a refresher or just to see where this story diverges into alternate...everything.
”...but Lisa's never been fighting her own General Zod before either. She's only ever fought people she laughably outclasses before."
There was a weird gasp and a gurgling noise from somewhere and we turned around to see one of the guys, a fellow named Zach turning red and grabbing at his neck. I was confused at the way he seemed a few inches taller for a second before I saw he was being suspended in the air by Victoria. I'm pretty sure we all took a step or two back. Sorry man, but we're dog food if we try to fight her...
"That's the second Superman reference today already. Shall we see how well it holds up? How about it Lisa? Do you want to dash in to save the day, or do you even care if I shatter this pitiful creature's spine?"
One of the other guys started to advance on her and I was mentally telling him not to be stupid, but the idiot wasn't telepathic. The crack was relatively small as Victoria's foot kind of just appeared about an inch from his head.
"Do you really want to be a hero? I could have taken your head off just now."
"Do I care?" Lisa said with a shrug and she held a hand up to her chin, "I dunno, it seems a little weak of you to try the hostage thing though. Are you getting afraid I'll win even though you still have the advantage for the moment?"
Victoria lowered Zach to the floor, letting him breath again but she held him fast. His biceps bulged so hard it looked like the veings might pop out as he pulled against Victoria's arm but she didn't seem to notice, all of her attention was on talking to Lisa. No, that was an illusion, she knew where we all were well enough she'd take any of us out if we did something dumb.
"That's not my question. I want to know how much you care about this lot. Does someone so superior have a reason to care about normal humans, or is the love of gods, whether they be religious figures or pop culture figures like Superman an invention of conceit?"
"Well, love might be a strong word, but I'm used to this group of people and being short one would be a noticed absence..."
"Did you notice Larry's absence? Because you haven't said a word about that."
Lisa looked just a little startled, "You didn't..."
"The fool's alive, just sporting a broken arm and told to lay low. I needed some information on your schedule that I couldn't acquire digitally. Anyway, you said love's a strong word, then why did you concede to date this man if you didn't think it was possible?"
"Dude?! You dated Lisa? Why'd you never say anything?" it was annoying, but the guy did have some brains, something of a skilled hobby artist and a chemist in addition to being pretty athletic. I guess he was about as close to an all around talent you'd find around here... so I guess it made sense that if Lisa was going to go out with anyone it'd be him.
"Well she never even let me get to a base, she'd kind of catch my hand and give me this weary sigh. It was more embarassing than anything else really."
"It was just a sort of experiment, I wanted to see if my affections could go in that direction... I'm not unfond of people..."
<"No, I imagine there's some you're quite attached to, but I have to wonder. Do you have friends? Do you relate to anyone? Can anyone relate to you? Or is your fondness closer to that which one might have for a pet?">
Well, finally I'd heard the same foreign language twice. I swore Lisa only mentioned speaking fifteen but this has been nuts. I tried to remember to ask her about it later.
<"That's...harsh...">
<"Am I wrong?">
<"You're here for me! None of these guys have anything to do with it! So just drop him and let's finish our bout!">
<"I disagree, I think this could provide some useful insight to you Lisa. Do you see your rightful place as master over your lessers, or are you the sentimental sort?">
"Do you think you can just murder someone and get away with it?" Lisa finally returned to english for everyone's benefit.
"Of course I can. What are the police going to find? A man killed by someone with superhuman strength and you're the only one the world knows of that fits that bill."
"Please, there are a ton of witnesses here."
"All men that know what you're capable of. They could certainly have been intimidated. You could tell them who I am, but let me explain how that's going to go. First, they'll look up Victoria Cross and find out that she in fact doesn't have an alibi, she was home sick a couple of days and didn't see anyone in that time. So far, so good for you. However, they will find that her passport hasn't been used in any airport and her image doesn't show up on any security cameras here in the USA. What will they find easier to believe? That you killed an ex boyfriend, strong phrase I know, but bear with me, or that a British woman crossed the Atlantic without being noticed anywhere on the whole journey and killed a man with her bare hands with a force the world thinks only you can use?"


Divergence Point:

“Clearly you don't know the defense attorney scene that well. Go ahead and do it, just see how it plays out.”
Victoria shrugs, “Very well.”
*SNAP*

Location: Japanifornia ??

“Hey boss, we got a call. New case wants us to fly out ASAP.”
“Huh, it's...like five in the morning... FIVE?!" "Objection!”
“They're paying top dollar for you specifically.”
“Huh, well, objection retracted then.”

First day in court:
Detective cross-examination
Lisa cross-examination
LISA: “Alright, this has gone on a while. Things look a bit rough so NOW IT'S TIME TO DO YOUR JOB!”
PHOENIX: “AH! Why are you screaming at me?”
LISA: “I KNOW YOU PULL IT TOGETHER UNDER PRESSURE, SO I'M EXERTING SOME. GET THIS CASE TURNED AROUND OR I'LL HURT YOU.” *snaps handcuffs off by pulling her hands apart*
APOLLO: “Wow...uh, I guess she could make pretty good on that threat, huh?
PHOENIX: “Yeah, let's turn this around quickly.”

Things look dire for a guilty verdict until Phoenix pulls some evidence together and gets things delayed until more investigating can be done.
PHOENIX: “OBJECTION!”
JUDGE: “What is it now?”
PHOENIX: “I direct the court's attention to this layout of the gym and the damage in these photos.”
JUDGE: “Yes, we've been over all these a few times, do you have some kind of issue with the evidence?”
PHOENIX: “Yes, the pattern of the damage. While we've verified that the defendant is physically capable of doing it, the pattern makes no sense if we assume she was on some kind of rampage!” *desk slam “This spot here proves that there wasn't one superhumanly strong person on the rampage, but in fact... TWO COMBATANTS! That gym was the site of an epic battle and we can prove it with this!” *FINGER POINT*
*Court room chatter*
*gavel strike x 2*
JUDGE: “Really now? Show us exactly which of these pieces of evidence shows that conclusion.”
PHOENIX: “TAKE THAT!” “Right here, your honor!” long winded explanation ensues

JUDGE: “That is certainly a valid line of reasoning, but in order to expand the scope of our investigation so far, we need more than one piece of evidence. What else in this case gives us reason to do so?”
PHOENIX:
= Uh...nothing I can think of, sorry.
> It's very important that we keep my client from hurting me.
= The consistency of witness testimony.
(Well, pain equals bad you know)
JUDGE: “I'm afraid that isn't reason enough for this courtroom Mister Wright. Penalty!”
LISA: “You just said that to see what would happen!” *now has two sets of handcuffs, and breaks both of them* "STOP CLOWNING AROUND!"
PHOENIX:
= Uh...nothing I can think of, sorry.
= It's very important that we keep my client from hurting me.
> The consistency of witness testimony.
“It's obvious your honor! Everyone present at the crime scene had the same story, the police assumed that the defendant had intimidated them into backing her story, but now that we have supporting evidence, it's clear that this line of inquiry must be pursued!” *desk slam, finger point*
*courtroom chatter*
ATHENA: “What are we going to do? If this Victoria is what Lisa says she is, most of the evidence is going to be all the way across the Atlantic, right? How do we get a flight out and investigate in time?”
PHOENIX: “As it happens, I know a gentleman who may just be able to help.”

---
I like to imagine the respective series logos flipping about like the Transformers did with the Autobot and Decepticon Insignias here: Ace Attorney to...
---

LAYTON: “Well now, this is a very interesting facility.”
LUKE: “I'll say professor! It looks like a supervillain's lair, right out of a comic book!”
VICTORIA: “Uh...who the hell are you? How did you even get in here?”
LAYTON: “It was quite the puzzle on the door in here, but I have something of a knack for them.”
VICTORIA: “What puzzle? The door is locked with biometric scanners, you have to be someone I registered to open it. It even checks your emotional state so someone authorized but under duress can't open it.”
LAYTON: “Quite the puzzle indeed. Very challenging.”

PUZZLE!
Worth: 200 Picarats
Lead Victoria to the trap set outside by navigating the maze and keeping ahead of her. Be careful, she moves two spaces to your one and if she catches you it's game over.
LAYTON: *dramatic point* “I've already seen the answer!”
CORRECT!
Now go meet Maya at the airport and finish your investigation! Phoenix is waiting on your results!

Cross-examination – Victoria

VICTORIA: “What you're proposing is simply perposterous. I'd have to have a plane of my own and not only that, one that didn't get spotted on any radar. That's impossible for a girl like me.”
PHOENIX: “And what if I can prove the existence of such a plane?”
VICTORIA: *carefree idle animation*
PHOENIX: (Did they just forget to give this woman a shocked animation or what?)
VICTORIA: “What do I have to be shocked about? You're bluffing, you can't prove it. I'm sorry to say Mr. Wright, but you have a very readable face.”

JUDGE: “I'm afraid if you can't find any strong evidence to support your accusations, I'm going to have to call this trial to a close.”
*dramatic panning to everyone's faces, Phoenix in his despair pose*
“OBJECTION!”
Dramatic panning around characters to.. PROFESSOR LAYTON barging in*
LAYTON: “You honor! The defense has new witnesses to call to the stand on the matter of the character of Miss Victoria Cross.”
VICTORIA: “Well, what's this now? Who do you have? Who do you think is going to say a bad word about me?”
LAYTON: “Thanks to Miss Fey's spiritual powers, we're actually calling on your own victims Miss Cross.”
VICTORIA breaks out into hysterical laughter, “Oh WOW. If you can get the judge to allow it, go on ahead. Are we doing a séance in court?”
LAYTON: “Hardly Miss Cross. I ask you to observe.”

MAYA transforms to the body of a past victim. The spirit in her transformed body points right at Victoria.
“That woman shoved me through a wood chipper!”
Another spirit enters.
“Oh yeah? She put me into a human sized toaster!”
“I got you both beat. 200 regular sized toasters!”

PHOENIX, APOLLO, ATHENA, LAYTON, LUKE, and MAYA all cram themselves just barely into the defense bench.
PHOENIX: “Is everyone cozy? No one wants to watch from the stands?”

JUDGE: “I'm afraid I'll be laughed out of my position if I admit this as evidence, but you've convinced me there's something here. By all means Mr. Wright, keep grilling.”
PHOENIX: “One request your honor, can we request a change in prosecutor?”
JUDGE: “Why?”
PHOENIX: “I had to request her, but I think the one best suited for helping me prove that Victoria Cross isn't who she pretends to be is... is...”
MAYA: “Come on Nick, who is it?”
PHOENIX: “F...Fran...Fr...”
MAYA: “Franziska Von Karma?! What do you want her for?”
PHOENIX: “If anyone can agitate this woman into giving something up, it's Franziska. I just hope she doesn't whip ME into a coma first...”
LAYTON: “I don't know about this, but there is something I'd like to bring up. Your honor!”
JUDGE: “Yes? What is it Professor?”
LAYTON: “Given that the defendant has snapped her handcuffs like dried twigs a few times already and she alleges that Miss Cross here possesses similar physical ability, I think it might be in the best interest of the safety of everyone in the court if we provide extra security just in case her accusations prove to be true.”
JUDGE: “I see, that is a wise precaution. What do you have in might?”
LAYTON: “Mister Wright, I believe you had an extracurricular outing that lead to you making the acquaintance of several powerful people. Do you think you can call a favor from any of them?”
PHOENIX: “Ugh, you're bringing that up? Well, it makes sense. I'll call around.”

A recess is taken, FRANZISKA arrives and the second cross-examination of VICTORIA begins. FRANZISKA tries whipping her a few times, but VICTORIA is simply never in the way of the whip when it lands. No one's able to catch her in a contradiction for long.
PHOENIX: “This is like trying to nail jello to the wall.”
LAYTON: “Indeed Mister Wright, it's as though she's thought of our objections before we raise them. This is proving to be a tough case. No armor is perfect though, we just need a way through it.”
PHOENIX: “Apollo, Athena, do you have anything?”
APOLLO: “Sorry boss, but she's rock steady, no tells at all.”
ATHENA: “Same here, her emotional state barely fluctuates at all. Now that alone is pretty suspicious but it's nothing we can nail her with, not on its own.”
PHOENIX: “What I really need is to use the magnatama in court...if I can see where she's lying...”
MAYA: “Let's try it then, I've learned a lot over the years.”

MAGNATAMA view is engaged, a myriad of spiderweb-like formations of chains surround Victoria and jet-black silhouette psylocks appear around her.
PHOENIX: (What is this? These aren't even normal black psylocks! They're solid light-eating pure darkness all the way through!)
PHOENIX: “Well, scratch that.”

FRANZISKA tries to hit VICTORIA with her whip while the latter is distracted, but VICTORIA catches the end.
VICTORIA: "TRY AND HIT ME WITH THIS AGAIN AND I'LL FEED IT TO YOU!"
*Courtroom goes quiet*
FRANZISKA: "Well, there's your first piece of evidence that this woman isn't normal, Wright. I hope you can put up the rest."
PHOENIX: (Yeah, just bail on me and leave me the only one in physical danger, thank you very much.)

VICTORIA: “Are you done conspiring over there? It seems you have nothing to get me on, might I be excused?” *little flirty wink and wave to the courtroom*
MAYA: “Nick! She's guilty! You have to get her!”
PHOENIX: “But we can't get her to crack. She's barely flinched this whole time.”
ATHENA: “Wait one moment! Do you have any idea why our client named you?”
VICTORIA: “I have no idea. I've hardly ever left England, I've never seen her before. Well, maybe on a show or two, or maybe it was that olympics stunt? I have no idea what made her pick me out. How'd she even hear of me? I'm just a normal girl.”
ATHENA: “BOSS! We have it! Reading one metric fuckton of anger on that last statement.”
PHOENIX: “You're not going anywhere Victoria. You've just...” *cocky stance* “sealed your fate.”
CORNERED starts playing.
PHOENIX: “About time. Let's finish this.”

VICTORIA'S break down is insanely dramatic, hellfire comes up behind her and cackling shadow demons jump out from her head. Then she rips the stand right out of the floor and tears it half before collapsing to the ground.
PHOENIX: “Wow, that one takes the cake and I have seen some hardcore crazy in here.”
JUDGE: “I've never seen a case quite like this one, but you life up to your reputation Mister Wright. I proclaim your client...”
NOT. GUILTY.
*CONFETTI!*
Everyone starts to celebrate but then deranged laughter cuts everyone short. VICTORIA stands up with a ruffled, insane appearance.
VICTORIA: “You did it, a normal natural born set of humans bested me. I never imagined it possible. However, that won't matter if I'm the only one who LEAVES THIS COURT ALIVE!”
JUDGE: “Baliff! Do your job!”
BALIFF: “SHORYUKEN!”
K.O.!
RYU: “I'm sure you'll do better once you learn how to fight.”

LISA: “I knew you could do it!”
OFFICER: “Here ma'am, let me...”
LISA: “Oh don't bother.” *snaps out of three sets of handcuffs*
OFFICER: “...that seems like a waste of taxpayer money...it's also terrifying.”
PHOENIX: “That might just be the third or fourth weirdest case I've been involved in.”
MAYA: “Celebratory burgers! Now!”
PHOENIX: “Aw come on...”
LISA: “I'll pay, my treat. The least I can do for you helping one version of me not have to get drug into a long off again on again rivalry with that woman full of battles.”
ALL: “What now?”

Closing shot is a painting shot of Lisa holding Phoenix in the air in a bear hug and everyone else kind of keeping away, kind of laughing at him. Phoenix looks like he'd like to breath right now.
Oh god this is so stupid but I had so much fun...

"human sized toaster" bit comes straight from here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7_YLA…
I've been listening to the Marvel vs. Capcom 3 theme for Phoenix Wright on loop basically the whole time I was writing this so I figured I should acknowledge it a bit.

I don't know why this version of Lisa leans on the fourth wall so much, nor do I know how Professor Layton got into Victoria's hanger for her jet or wherever that was, I guess he's just that good, and  it's just for fun.
© 2015 - 2024 tj-caris
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iceman75's avatar
It did look like a lot of fun to write as it was a lot of fun to read, it was dumb, but sometimes dumb is good, it takes a lot of pressure off and allows you to breath and relax. Lisa and Victoria were both great in it, in terms of using their superior skills and strength to their advantage, and the other characters were just funny enough to keep my attention.